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Record Reviews

Published in Reglar Wiglar #7, 1996

"Johnny, Where Are You?" b/w "Eating Me Alive" (Lookout!)

I don't know if the Vindictives are brilliant or stupid (thin line between clever and stupid, yah know). What I do know is that both songs on this seven inch are exactly the same. No foolin'. I'm not even trying to be vindictive myself here or silly or even write a review. I'm just sayin' that these two songs are identical except for the lyrics and like I said, I don't know if that's brilliant or stupid, I'm just gonna put it out of my head—J. Germ

Heavy Petting Zoo (Epitaph)

Hey man, I don't know shit about punk rock? What's my name? Joey what? Joey Fuckin' T. Germ, motherfucker. I'm up your ass and down your throat before you can say punk rock. Am I punk rock? Shit!—Joey Germ

Elemental Guitar (SST)

If I could sit through this record of one musician singing his own songs and playing all his own instruments with the aid of a plethora of effects pedals, I bet it'd be good. But that ain't gonna happen—Muggsy "Not Today" McMurphy

Stinky Little Gods (SST)

Don't like surf music, nope—P.C. Jones

Fish, Big Angry Fish (Beluga)

These guys aren't fish for one thing. They may be angry, they should be, I'd be angry too if I was in this band. (Ha, it's a joke!) Actually, these fellahs got the college pop thing pretty much nailed down. The songs are solid, played competently. No new ground broken here and I guess that can be ok—P.C. Jones

The Microwave EP (Scratchie)

Hey, I thought I told you guys to stop making records. Must have been somebody else. Boy, was I hard on these kids in issue number six. Hey, I ain't sayin' they didn't have it coming, but shit, I gotta chill out or I'm not gonna have any friends out there when my band Butt Hammer starts touring (should be sometime this fall, we haven't actually formed yet)—Muggsy "Jerky" McMurphy

4AM Friday (Lookout!)

Avail is emo to the core. Fugazi inspired, positive youth rockers. Anthemic and catchy songs. Important music for the kids. I'll take the risk of sounding condescending and say, I would have been way into this record when I was in high school. As it is today, I still dig it (I'm 67 you know). I bet these guys are vegans—P.C. Jones

"Underwatertown" b/w "Orbit" &" (Scratchie)

You know it's funny, the Reglar Wiglar P.O. box is just a little smaller than a 7 inch record. Not much smaller, but in terms of incontestable physical laws, it is smaller. So when you're a postal worker and you cram that fuckin' 7 inch into a box that's about 6"x6" you have thereby rendered that little piece of vinyl completely unlistenable. Belltower, if you're out there reading this, you have the United States Postal Service this thank for this review. Consider them armed and dangerous—Muggsy McMurphy

Boutros Boutros Ghali (Botswana at Night)

Their press kit registered in at just under 30 pages. That is way, way too, too, too long. I don't care if you're the Rolling Stones, nobody needs a press kit that hefty. No body!—Scat-in-the-Hat

"The Opposing Engineer Sleeps Alone" b/w "I Am a Scientist" split 7" (Chunk)

Oh my God, I've been robbed! Wait a minute, no, I just paid four bucks for the Guided by Voices/New Radiant Storm Kings split 7 inch. My fault, I thought I was robbed. Didn't mean to alarm anyone. Oh my God, I just paid four bucks for the new Guided by Voices/ New Radiant Storm Kings split 7 inch!—P.C. Jones

Talk Radio Violence (SST)

Interesting if you've followed the whole SST vs. Negativland vs. Island Records vs. Casey Kasem vs. U2 vs. Whoever the Hell Else legal battle. To make a long story short on that, is that a big record company got thoroughly pissed at a little record company and their little band's slam on their big band and so set in motion a series of legal actions that reamed more than a few careers. Greg Ginn seems to be involved in some third party shit on this release. There's radio sound bites liberally sampled. In light of these recent legal hassles, it's probably legit. Probably, but maybe somebody could sue his ass. You lawyers out there, why don't you look into this an give me a call if we got a case. And don't try freezing me out of the deal, I own the idea. Fuck with me and I'll sue you. Sue everybody!—Joey T.G.

Broadcaster (Capitol)

Capitol's got another lemon on their hands. Lemonade, anyone?—Scat-in-the-Hat

Drunk on the Moon (Time Bomb)

I don't know if the title for this record is to be taken literally, like you know, some dude up on the moon drinkin' 40s or like, if it's like you think the moon is so cool that you're kind of drunk on the moon, you know. Musically there are some interesting things going on here. I don't like the vocals, but this is comin' from a guy who had a full color poster of Rob Halford on his wall from '84 to '89. My Ma threw it out when I moved out of the house (incidentally, I didn't actually move out I just hadn't crashed there for a couple of weeks and so she burned all my shit). Those wounds have been healed and I stand a better man for it. No Knife, I don't know. They're from San Diego. So's my cousin and he's cool. Kinda—Muggsy McMurphy

Life Begins at 40 Million (Arista)

I'm not sure what this is. It's certainly not Alternative and that's more than fine. It's not Top 40 fodder, I don't think. I just don't know who the audience would be. Who's the target market on this? People who don't buy music? People who don't get out much? Kids aren't gonna buy this that's for damn sure. The Bogmen are competent enough musicians and they don't write awful songs, I don't know, Adult Contemporary maybe? Yuppie music, that what it is. It's typical of what you get if you are a low budget, freebie zine and you agree to be on BMGs promo list; a lot of CDs you have no time or use for—Joey Germ

Men without Pause (Go-Kart)

The Butt is back. This, their fourth album, (second for G-Kart) is a little more serious than their last record, Moroccan VD CD LP It's still silly as hell as far as lyrical content, but they seem a little more bent on making a polished, dare I say accessible, record. This is not a bad thing and this record rocks and this is a talented band, they're just a little more reserved this time around. Still recommended but where's that girl that used to be in the band? Where'd she go? Huh? Why'd she go? Hmmmm?—Scat-in-the-Hat

Pleasant Music for Nice People (Daemon)

The only thing I hate more than pleasant music is nice people. Seriously this record makes you want to listen to Steely Dan just to forget you've ever heard of Belloluna. They've been described as a cross between Mel Torme and Supertramp A recipe for torture that Amnesty International needs to be made aware of my name ain't PC Jones—P.C. Jones

"Evil Waterbed" b/w "Fun" 7" (Super 800)

Worst record cover that I've ever seen on a 7 inch and that will cost you points. Maybe "Evil Waterbed" is not quite the "finely crafted pop melody" that the accompanying literature suggested–hold on a second., I left that godawful Belloluna CD on and that wouldn't be fair to the Krinkles to have that shit penetrating my brain while writing a review of their record. Ahhh, that's much better. Actually, The Krinkles do manage to come through with some decent bar room pop rock, kinda sloppy, kinda fun. If I ever found myself drunk at the Beat Kitchen on a Friday/Saturday night (it hasn't happened yet) and The Krinkles were layin' it down and the cover was about three bucks–I wouldn't throw nuthin' at 'em—Muggsy McMurphy

The Beautiful People (lfm)

I was into all the lo-fi shit that came out a couple years ago, I'm more partial to 48 track, multi-layered stuff now (aren't fanzine writers just the ficklest fuckers?) At any rate, this comp. comes from Dayton, OH which has been named, by its musician residents, the Capitol of lo-fi. I'm not gonna argue that claim, and there's' some good lo-fi rock on this CD, from Earwig in particular, whose guitar player is named Lizard McGee, which I wish my name was, and in fact, am thinking of changing it to. Bands, Preston Furman and Monster Zero also got a split 7 inch out on the lfm label so look for that too. Love—Lizard McGee

Wilson's Revenge (Mind of a Child)

This is the Robbie's follow up to last year's wonderful Nuts and Balls. It's just as good as that ten inch, only it's longer, but still not quite long enough. Nine songs and 25 minutes of barley contained, yet tight-ass pop rock that's a little heavier on the rock. "Bar-De-Bar" and "Tipper" are two particularly shinning moments of which there are many. Shine, Robbies, shine—P.C. Jones

Fragile (A&M)

Well it's been decided, if I'm to remain on the Wiglar's pay roll I gotta learn how to write better reviews. That's what has been suggested by Upper Management anyway. Now in order for me to write better reviews I told them straight out, you gotta give me better music to review. I'm dying here with this crap that you're giving me. This grunge, this punk rock, I mean puh-leaze. If you want me to review records for you (and they don't, but I saved an executive's life at the employee picnic last year) let me review the classics. Refresh people's memories. Remind these frickin' punk kids where their roots are. So Auman says, "Wow! That sounds like a really bad idea!" He's so funny I could smack 'em in his balding head. Anyway: Fragile. Oh sweet '79. I remember the first time I heard this record...

(This has been the first installment of Malcolm Tent's review of the album Fragile by the British Prog-Rock band, Yes. The second installment will appear in a future issue of the Reglar Wiglar (or so Malcolm Tent has been told). You're welcome for the interuption-Ed)



Chicks Dig Scars (Roadtrip)

Wormhole Star is the same band as the Irish band Wormhole. Seems like there already is a band named Wormhole here in the States and in order to tour here and release records here they had to change their name. Anyway, these guys kind of remind me of an Irish Sebadoh. Lo-fi songs, a little nosier, muddier, with hooks buried a little deeper. These guys aren't an Irish Sebadoh, however, and some of the songs get tedious and are a little too noisy, muddy, and with no melody, buried or otherwise. A promising effort any any rate and they're Irish—Muggsy McMurphy

All Ages (Epitaph)

I missed Bad Religion the first time around, I must admit. Apart from the Descendents and T.S.O.L. I think I missed most of the 80s LA punk scene. As it is, Bad Religion ain't half bad. It's a little too late in the game for me to jump on any Bad Religion band wagon, somebody should have given me this record ten years ago. Oh well—P.C. Jones



The Bittersweet Series Vol. 1 (Bittersweet)

This is a double CD release featuring two Portland punk rock bands; The Jimmies and The Weaklings. Pretty, cool packaging. Pretty basic punk rock. Entertaining, nostalgic. You know, I gotta tell yah. I am really sick of punk rock. OK, anyway, yeah, it's all right. A hell of a lot better than the punk rock that's being mass produced way down the coast there in LA. Good god! Thank you Portland—P.C. Jones

Bali Girls (Bittersweet)

Interesting to listen to. A comparison to Steelpole Bathtub is in order. Similar sound. Similar vocal style, kind of grating, borderline whiny, it works. From Seattle and it ain't grunge? We're comin' along. We're getting over it—Scat-in-the-Hat

Four-twenty (Tenderizer)

Smoke some pot, get a band together, smoke some pot, write some songs, smoke some pot, record those songs, smoke some pot, put out a record, smoke some pot, break up, and smoke some pot. Fatty Love, Ladies and Gentlemen–Muggsy "Fatty Love" McMurphy

Demo (no label)

All right, so I ain't been to church since the eleventh grade, but Christ, somethin' about this band just doesn't sit right with my Catholic upbringing. I can't understand the lyrics on this demo tape but you can bet your ass they're rife with Satanic messages and epistles of the most extreme evil imaginable. Say a couple Hail Mary's before you crank the volume up on this one. That oughta' make things right with your maker—Muggsy "Last Minute" McMurphy

Total Burnout (Off-white)

Total gross out is what the cover of this CD is. It's a close-up of somebody's shin after a wipeout of some kind and I'll tell yah, I didn't need to see it. Gravelbed are a guitar band from Indianapolis, a Midwest Guitar Band. A Good Midwest Guitar Band. I like Good Midwest Guitar Bands. Their singer's got some strong pipes and a good range, reminiscent of one Greg Duli form another Good Midwest Guitar Band and although there's nothing wrong with sounding like Greg Duli, it doesn't score you points with Joey Germ—Joey "What'd I Say?" Germ

Dedicated (Another Planet)

Murphy's Law is dedicated... to doing the same old thing—Joey Germ



Hose Got Cable (Old Glory)

"Pigs! Pigs! Pigs!" This is a testament to the existence of Richmond, VA's Hose Got Cable, now defunked. A fine record it is. Rock as heck, heavy as fuck, melodic for seconds at a time. Downright frightening for longer. Good trips, bad trips all rolled into one. Nightmares and some grooves. Be careful if you listen to this all alone and you're not quite right. Know what I mean?—Joey Germ

Corn Fed 7" EP (Off-White)

Chicago via Ohio, Corn Rockers, Vambo Marble Eye churn out another four buttery tunes on their latest Off-white 7" EP. Each song is a tasty kernel of barely contained farm rock. Born in corn cribs, raised on cornbread, suckin' on the cob since they were knee-high in July, VME just want to raise the corn and they want to rock you, and what the hell is wrong with that? Vambo Marble Eye, ladies and gentleman, Vambo Marble Eye—Joey "Corn on the Cob" Germ

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