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#9 1997 Just as sure as Zamfir is the Master of the Pan Flute... TABLE OF CONTENTS Idiotorial Random Notes Breaking News Meet the band that killed Alt. Rock. An interviw with Whose Your Punk, Drunk & Disorderly Vermicious Knids How do you like your record reviews? You like 'em rough, huh? You like 'em rough? Zines Reviewed Well, what do ya know, it's Everybody loves Editor & Publisher Reglar Wiglar Staff Contributing Writers Contributing Artists Cover Photo Cover Model Special Thanks To Reglar Wiglar is published with an increasing frequency by Chris Auman, under direct supervision of Big Little Bucharest Productions which is owned by Pocket Swivel Incorporated which is controlled, in part, by Giganta Corp. and Hugantic Limited. Everything is copyrighted and registered and really, really complicated and confusing to the point where we don't really know where our paychecks come from and consequently whose ass to kiss, which I think is the way they prefer things, whoever they are. All contributors maintain their own copyrights. Everything else © 1997 Chris Auman. Please ask permission for reprints 'cause I've got a crackerjack team of would be lawyers who are so close to passing the bar this time they can taste it. All opinions and ideas expressed in this publication are the author's own fucked up opinions and ideas and therefore entirely their own problem. Any similarities to people dead or dying was probably done just to fry your noodle. |
ARCHIVES: REGLAR WIGLAR #9 #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20 #21 IDIOTORIAL by CHRIS AUMAN Chose your own Idiotorial ONE: For the Realists It's Friday morning here on the north side of Chicago. I'm on my second cup of coffee and the sun hasn't dared to show its shiny ass yet. Looks like rain again. My lawyer just called and said it looks like the libel will result in a jury trial. There seems to be a serious shortage of people who can take a joke these days. The landlady has been around a couple of -times this week in herbathrobe with a suggestion or two on how I can cut my rent in half. I'm tempted, but I'm not a whore. Maybe she can work something out with the half dozen or so bill collectors that have been on my ass since January. That would kill two birds with one rock anyway. Fuckin' vultures. Well, the deadline is two hours away and if I gave a shit about anything in this world I might be able to say a clever word or two about it, but it just doesn't look like that's going to happen. TWO: For the Optimists Hey Everybody! Welcome to another fantastic issue of the Reglar Wiglar Magazine! I hope you all had a terrific summer. How couldn't you, what with all the summer activities available? In Chicago, we have Bluesfest and Jazzfest and Taste of Chicago, in addition to dozens of neighborhood festivals celebrating the unique cultural and ethnic diversity of urban life. There was a ton of cool music stuff going on too. There was Horde Fest and Lollapalooza and even Ozzfest for you headbangers out there (I know you're out there). Let's face it, you really have to try hard not to have a good time in the summer time. There's just too much super cool stuff going on. THREE: For the Socially Aware As I was doing the final layout for this issue, I couldn't help but be irked thinking about the current situation in Bosnia. What's the solution to this problem that has been brewing for centuries in the Balkans? Can we afford to be optimistic? Do we, as concerned fellow humans dare to hope that this situation can ever be resolved peacefully without the senseless loss of human life? FOUR: For the Pretentious As I was crossing Clark Street on an unusually chilly August afternoon in the slight drizzle that hailed from a blackened sky, I noticed a withered figure approaching me from the opposite side of the street shore. It was a woman, old and frail, hunched like the aged, carrying the weight of her years on her like a heavy sack. She was clutching a book to her chest with veiny, wrinkled, liver spot-bespeckled hands. The book looked as old and worn as its caddy. I tried to read the title of this antiquated tome but could not because of the women's peculiar carriage. I could only hazard a conjecture as the genus of the manuscript. Perhaps it was an anthology of poetry from an age long forgotten. NERD PIPE
Read the Complete Interview
Interviewed by JAYNE WAYNE Thank god that whole drab and droll alternative music thing is over and done with. How passé. Pretending to want to be unpopular, trying to look like you're not concerned with selling out or being successful. Heroin chic? Pu-leeze! Why on God's green earth would anyone want to be an unsuccessful, junkie-looking burnout? Why wouldn't you want as many people as possible to hear your record? Why wouldn't you want to make a living selling out huge stadium venues to a faceless crowd of thousands? Thank God alternative rock is over. Bring back arena rock. Bring back the wall of sonic power, the flicking Bics®, the rock star posing, the outright decadence of decades past and let's start this mother up all over again. Woo hoo! Always the first to jump on the bandwagon and beat a trend to it's bloody end, The Reglar Wiglar has once again rushed to interview the prima donnas of the new age of Big Guitar Rock: Vermicious Knids (an literary reference). Jayne Wayne caught up with the band backstage at the Grant County Memorial Riverfront Fair Ground Center Stage A in Grant County, Iowa, minutes before they were to send their crushing guitar riffs into the rich agricultural soil of America's farmland to rock the children on the corn. Read the Complete Interview
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