MUSIC REVIEWS:
RW#11-10
< 21-20 19-18 17-16 15-14 13-12 11-10 9-7 6-4 3-1 >
RW #11 (1998)
The Obligatory Record Review
Section Commonly Found in Many Music Related Publications, Thank You Very Much!
I thought this was pretty obvious to anyone
who has ever actually read any of the "reviews" found in this "review
section" in the past, but let me repeat my oft repeated warning/disclaimer:
some of these obligatory record reviews may only make a passing reference to
the artist or group of artists and are in no way intended as music journalism,
i.e.: these ain't for the press kit. Write that down, Rockers.
40K
40K CD EP (Stopped Clock)
What we have here, people, is a four song EP of hard edged, intelligent pop
music made by... well, musicians. As worthy of radio play as any of the pop/pap
your standard Match Box 20/Third Eye Blind brands are producing for the airwaves,
but don't forget, there is no justice in the world—P.C. Jones
AGAINST ALL AUTHORITY
All Fall Down (Hopeless)
Against All Authority? Really? Against every form of authority ever, ever? OK,
suit yourself, have a nice life. I believe in anarchy like I believe in atheism.
I don't. Whether or not these issues need to be discussed in this forum is subject
to debate, but not here.
Against All Authority or AAA is a politically charged hardcore
band with equal parts ska thrown in 'cause that's how it's done these days.
With anti-society songs and odes to skating AAA would like to see our entire
society crumble 'cause pigs have been fuckin' with skaters for way too long,
man. All right, I'm being a bit of a reactionary here. I got no beef with bands
that aspire to make people think by pointing out the ills of our society (society
definitely be illin') and hardcore has always been the preferred vehicle for
the message (that and folk music). In this case it's the messenger not the message
that I couldn't get with. But fuck it, more power to AAA. And not to say AAA
believe this necessarily, but it bugs me when people confuse being hassled for
skating with some kind of real oppression—Joey Germ
AVAIL
Over the James (Lookout!)
There are some
rabid Avail fans out there, for sure. And this is in spite of not much press
outside of zinedom. Hey, people dig their anthemic and thoughtful lyrical approach
combined with the punk rock power chord structure. It makes for some fist pumping,
sing along classics. Over the James doesn't sound like a drastic departure
from this formula but it is going for a little more hard rock sound. It seems
like Avail is trying to mix it up a little bit which is always a good thing,
but to be honest, like some of their past records I've heard, I have a fairly
low tolerance for it, but I'm wearing a Pink Floyd t-shirt as I sit here and
write this so go figure—Muggsy McMurphy
BOOKER NOE
Mother's Day (no label)
Boy,
I love me some hillbilly redneck music, and Booker Noe does it better than anybody.
What with insurgent country and alternative-bluegrass music bein' so popular
and whatnot, it's refreshing to hear some good old fashioned, down home, hillbilly
redneck music. And not just hillbilly redneck music, but sweet, sweet hillbilly
redneck music—Otis E. Lee
BRAID
Frame & Canvas (Polyvinyl)
"One of the most
prolific bands in the US," boasts their press kit and indeed it looks like
Braid have been busy boys in the last three years with eight singles (four of
them split singles), three LPs and a shitload of compilation contributions under
their belts. They've also played close to 400 shows! They must be doing something
right and I'll admit that this record grew on me a bit. There are a Chapel Hill
influences and a little bit of a DC sound.
In a side note, there has been a gag order
imposed on the music press from some PR people that in effect states that we
are strongly discouraged from using the term "emocore" in our band
descriptions and record reviews, etc. Otherwise, I might have thrown that descriptive
label in there just to give you some point of reference. Of course, I exaggerate,
but it's for effect so it's ok—Joey Germ
CALVIN CRIME
You're Feeling So Attractive (AmRep)
This sounds
like kind of a '90s hard rock Smiths. No, not at all. I don't know where that
came from. Sorry. Pretty frantic, noisy rock that's all over the place, you
know, chaos. "Oh My Goth!" is a shoe-in for the 'Humorous Song Title
Award' should such a category or award exist which is doesn't...yet—P.C. Jones
COMPOUND RED
Always a Pleasure (DeSoto)
A sensitive, indie rock band from Milwaukee
with some interesting musical shit goin' on. Not an unpleasant record to chill
out to. I can't believe that last sentence just came out of my head but hey,
it's raining and that does odd things to my brain. Track 11 (whose title is
a little too long for me to include here although typing in that excuse took
at least as long) is a little too over-the-top in the sensitive boy singer/guitar
strummer sort of way, but I forgive them because the band photo on the back
of the CD is funny. They look silly—Jayne Wayne
COWS
Sorry in Pig Minor (AmRep)
It all reminds me of the time I saw
the Cows in Cincinnati one time a couple of years back. It was a great show,
the bouncer pepper-sprayed a couple kids (and a fellow employee and some other
people standing too close to the non-incident/altercation) in the pit for no
real reason that I could see. After the show when the room had mostly cleared
out, a friend of mine set his empty beer can on the ground and stomped on it
in order to crush it so it would take up less room in the garbage can allowing
the establishment the luxury of fitting more garbage into the bags, thus saving
money and thereby ensuring that they would stay in business and continue to
book quality acts like the Cows. Well, that crushed can shoots out from under
old boys boot, sails across the room and hits Cows frontman, Shannon Selberg,
right square in his ass. Well to get to the point of an otherwise pointless
story, Shannon picked up the can and ran over and handed it back to my buddy
so's he could put it in the proper trash receptacle. Which is funny because
I thought for sure he was gonna pull out a 12 inch blade and gut us right then
and there.
Anyway, if you've read this far and I don't
blame you if you haven't, this is the Cows new record and if you like the Cows
at all you should find some review of their record in a "real" music
magazine, 'cause I'm no entomologist but I know what I like and I like the Cows,
especially when they put out records—Joey Germ
THE C*NTS
A Secret History (Disturbing)
I'm not afraid to spell out the word
cunts, mind you. In British slang, it is simply another way of calling someone
an asshole. I'm gonna give these guys the benefit of your doubt and assume that's
the origin of their name since, for one thing, these guys formed in 1977 at
the height of the British Punk Rock Explosion, or whatever it was called, and
for another thing they sing in fake British accents on the song "Chemicals
in the Mail" and unlike bands like maybe a Green Day or a Rancid, for example,
they are aware they're singing with fake British accents.
Yep, that's right, these
bloody coonts have been 'round for twenty years and have released five albums
of garage/punk rock on their own DYI label. This Secret History of is
a collection of some of the better cuts off of those five albums released very
sporadically over two decades. And while there may be nothing groundbreaking
or earth-shattering in the twenty-one tracks on this record, it is definitely
an enjoyable retrospective—Joey Germ
DEAD NUGGETS DISH
Lotushead (Botswana at Night)
The dish is back! I reviewed DND's last release
issues ago (RW#7). If I remember correctly (or at all) they were the band that
had the forty page press kit. Well the boys are back with a pared down, sleek,
tight twelve page press package with a photocopy of every flyer they've ever
made. We're gettin' there. And if these guys read their last review in these
pages and are still sadistic enough to send me another release and think maybe
I'll go easier on 'em this time around... woo boy, that's a bad bet.
Let me tell you why I'm not so privy to the
Dish, 'cause they're one of those fun-lovin', musically adept, long-haired,
pot smokin', genre-bending, funk punksters with traces of heavy metal. That's
why. You're either with me or you're not—Scat in the Hat
MIKE DIXON
Sampler (RoosterCow)
An odd recording to say the least. This
is a collection of different vocal snippets, drum beats, guitar noodlings and
other assorted tape manipulations. There are some Ween-like vocal effects on
a Hüsker Dü song ("Too Far Down"), and what sounds like
an Irish fireman talking about god-knows-what. Could be social commentary, perhaps
this is a blue print for the coming apocalypse. Whoever is behind this madness
needs to be investigated, possibly jailed—P.C. Jones
THE FAIRLAINES
Songs
for Cruising (Suburban Home)
Any band whose
entire first track of their CD consists of someone's three second belching of
Hi, We're the Fairlane" automatically gets my undying respect. I'm kidding,
in fact, quite the opposite is true. But
what do you expect from fun luvin' punk teenagers from Colorado (I'm gonna give
them the benefit of the doubt that they are indeed tenny-boppers). Other than
that I don't like them—Joey Germ
SCOTT FREE
Getting
Off (Leather/Western)
Getting
off Scott Free... get it? Anyway, Getting Off is 13 songs of anger, betrayal,
death and despair and one Bruce Springsteen song ("Streets of Philadelphia")
served up in much the same manner. If you think this sounds a little frightening
then you're right on the money, 'cause the whole album is one dark and bleak
trip.
The subject matter of Scott Free's lyrics concerns
AIDs dementia, paranoia, loss and real life pain from a gay man whose been through
it. That being said and the message aside, the music is equally sobering. Every
note, every instrument on this record was played by Scott and all the material
on the CD was written by Scott except for the aforementioned Springsteen jam
which Scott takes credit for embellishing on. All photographs on the CD cover,
except for the one of Scott, were taken by Scott. My point is even though Scott's
music, by the nature of it's subject matter, is very personal and he as an artist
is somewhat self-obsessed, he could probably benefit from a little collaboration.
It might make the record sound a little fuller, a little less one dimensional
or maybe the point is he's the only one left who can tell the story—Jayne Wayne
FRODUS
Conglomerate
International (Tooth & Nail)
Frodus
is the band for the future, from the future. The technological revolution, the
manipulation of the media, mind control, all the paranoid prophecies about the
future of the human species, have all been made in an effort to prepare you
for the Frodus. But before you go getting your undies in a bunch, remember,
that's just the Frodus Conglomerate International PR machine trying to get me
the "music critic" to use this zine (a medial tool) to manipulate
you the consumer into thinking Frodus is on the verge of "world wide upheaval"
and that "the Frodus Conglomerate International controls the hourglass."
But if that's the last thing I can do to save the human race from the power
hungry Frodus Conglomerate International, I must urge you to not buy this record. When
robot slaves record the heroic deeds of humans in the waning days of the twentieth
century, let my name be among them—Jayne Wayne
I LOVE RICH
Live,
Wet, Drippin' with Sexx (Big Dump)
I Love Rich is possibly a joke. If it is a joke, then I don't really get it.
At the very least it's a joke that I've heard before but I didn't get then either.
Well, it's not that I didn't get it, I got it, it just wasn't that funny.
This is a 'live' record that was recorded in
Cambodia (heh, heh, a Third World country). As they mention in the accompanying
press sheet, the band played Cambodia on their tour of the Middle East in front
of thousands of screaming I Love Rich fans. That Cambodia isn't in the Middle
East would hardly be worth arguing with these boys, I'm sure, BUT, once you
push past that particular geographic error and push past the juvenile humor,
and try to get beyond the generic punk rock music and the annoying overdubbed
crowd noises, what you have then, ladies and gentlemen, is a CD—Joey Germ
JABBER
All Original
Members (DP)
Jabber...what to say about Jabber...Jabber sound like they're going for the
big pop rock kill. The path taken by other bygone Chicago bands like Triple
Fast Action and Loud Lucy. The problem is that if this is their gameplan, the
production on All Original Members is a little lacking. Needs somethin',
I'm not sure what, but I'm not in the advice business. I'm in the CD dissin'
business—P.C. Jones
JANUS STARK
Great Adventure
Cigar (Earache)
I'm gonna try to piece together the story of Janus Stark from the press materials
provided. Janus Stark is Gizz Butt, Shop and Pinch (those are names). Janus
Stark is a Superhero from an old Valiant comic book. Janus Stark used to be
the English Dogs but the English don't like bands that degrade the English so
there's an English law that says they couldn't be called the English Dogs so
they were just the Dogs but I think there already was a Dogs so now they're
Janus Stark. Gizz Butt is also in a band you might have heard of, they're called
Prodigy and they're the future of music. All sorted then.
Gizz,
Shop and Pinch are old school English punks who grew up on the Pistols, Buzzcocks
and the lot like that. Their music is just as much metal as it is punk. It's
a very produced, big riff guitar rock record that shows not just their punk
influences, Sabbath and Motorhead are in there as well, It's got melody and
a pop edge 'cause those Brits can not resist that shit. All in all, it ain't
all bad, just a little too produced for my tastes. It ain't my cup of tea, but
then again I don't drink tea and I ain't English—Muggsy McMurphy
JAWS OF LIFE
Drunk with
Power (Beluga)
The music from this disc pours out of the speaker like vomit from the mouths
of "Indie Rockers" after drinking malt liquor with the "negroes"—Rob
Turner, Special to the Reglar Wiglar 'cause he's special
JUGHEAD'S REVENGE
Just Joined (Nitro)
When Jughead exacts his revenge upon his enemies the earth will tremble. Jughead's
tumultuous soul is being torn by his insatiable thirst for revenge on those
who have done him wrong: that red-haired, pug-nosed, back stabbing Archie; that
sexy, yet treacherous femme fatale Betty and her teasing and tempestuous ways.
Not to mention the luscious and curvaceous, yet evil Veronica...and Moose, don't
get Jughead started on that fucking Moose guy. The repressed homosexual tendencies
of Moose have made for more that one uncomfortable locker room encounter that
strangely excited and repulsed Jughead, but all that will be taken care of when
Jughead gets his revenge—Joey Germ
JR. HIGH
Caller of
Friendships (eMpTy)
The Jam and Elvis Costello are called to mind on this Jr. High record. It's
an attempt by a band to write good songs in the singer/ songwriter vein. No
more punk sloppiness or grunge "I ain't even tryin'" half-assed stabs
at "I don't really want to do this but I have to get this angst out"
alternative rock. Just a singer strugglin' to hit the high notes that seem to
hang just beyond his grasp. The attempt is made, nonetheless, and appreciated—Jayne Wayne
THE HALO BENDERS
The Rebel's
Not In (K)
The Halo Benders are celebrating the death of alternative rock and I'm right
there with them. There is a strange interplay between the dual vocal acrobatics
of Doug Martch (Built to Spill) and Calvin Johnson (Beat Happening) especially
when the two are singing separate lines that kind of weave in and out of each
other. Sometimes Calvin's baritone skirts the Crash Test Dummies line, but I
don't dwell on it. All in all, a good way to celebrate the death of alternative
rock—Jayne Wayne
HOMELESS WONDERS
Another One
of Those Days (Suburban Home)
Hopeless Wonders would perhaps be a better band name. Hey guess what? Homeless
Wonders are a pop punk band that incorporates horns to provide short bursts
of ska into their songs. They have the ugliest CD cover I've ever laid my eyes
on and a singer whose every note stomps on my last good nerve, but they're from
Laramie, Wyoming so for some reason unbeknownst even to me, I'm gonna cut 'em
some slack. Don't ask my why—Joey Germ
GREY EYE GLANCES
Painted Pictures (Mercury)
Imagine a rabid dog, insane, possessed by an unseen rage, grabbing this CD in
it's foaming jaws, violently tearing and shredding. That is what I would like
to accomplish with this review. This is the effect I would like to have on the
audience reading this review: to feel so much sympathy for this band that they
exclaim out loud, "Stop it! Damn it, can't you see they've had enough!—Joey Germ
L/A/L
#1 USA (K)
I simply must confess to really, really liking this L/A/L (Love as Laughter)
band. They make sloppy, bluesy, lo-fi gold, baby. And if you've never heard
of L/A/L
before now, and I hadn't, then let me tell be the first to tell you that it
is worthy of you going to your hip local record store and inquiring about it.
That's about all I can say (that's all I'm gonna say at any rate)—Jayne Wayne
POLKAHOLICS
9 Step Program (no label)
Frankie
Yankovich these guys ain't, but a good, solid Polka Band they is. Don't look
for them to be headlining Milwaukee's Polka Fest this summer 'cause hardcore
Polka purists are likely to take exception to the fact that these boys play
their polka sans the accordion. Sacrilege you say? Yeah, I know, but these guys
are polkaholics, man, they can't help it. They'd knock out polka riffs on a
banjo and a washboard if that's all they had layin' around—Muggsy McMurphy
POLAR BEAR
Polar Bear (Dry Hump)
So
the Baby Polar Bear says to the Mama Polar Bear; "Hey Ma, are you sure
I'm 100% polar bear?" and the Mama Polar Bear says, "Yeah, you're
a purebred, Arctic Circle-walkin', glacier-climbin', seal-beatin', bear of the
North Polar ice cap, why do you ask?" And the Baby Polar Bear says "'Cause
I'm freezin' my ass off!" (Gotta give Jonathan Katz credit for that one.)
OK, I apologize for gettin' a little too cute
there with that joke, but I get bored writing these reviews. Polar Bear is the
reason Eric Avery couldn't join in on the Jane's Addiction reunion as he is
the bass player for Polar Bear. This self-titled CD is five meandering tunes
that aren't afraid, or just can't resist getting a little arty. It's nothing
that made me sit up and say 'goddamn!', probably 'cause the record seems a little
too produced and arranged and maybe just a little too thought about too much,
which is not how I like my rock'n'roll but it has a certain ambient quality,
or charm if you will—P.C. Jones
RARE FORM
So Ends Another (Dubious Honor)
The
beast of Rare Form rises again to record the "soundtrack for the destruction
of the new world." I don't doubt it in the least. This is that grindcore
music your mamma warned you about. This is extreme metal, not for the meek who
shall inherit the earth, nor for the more pious and devout Christians in our
readership—Father McMurphy
SCARED OF CHAKA
How to Lose (empty)
I
ain't scared of Chaka, man. I ain't afraid of shit. But seriously, who could
possibly be afraid of the lovable Chaka character from the '70s television series, Land of the Lost? Doesn't really matter, it's just sort of a rule of
mine to waste a little of your time trying to be witty, but let's get on with
the in-depth review of Scared of Chaka and their latest release, How To Lose.
Scared
of Chaka is a thrashin' punk rock band who are not afraid to take a stab at
melody and this CD is eight songs that crash through garage/punk/pop/noise/?
in just under 17 minutes, which is why you have to play it twice through every
time your listen to it, 'cause it just ain't long enough—Joey Germ
SNUFF
Tweet, Tweet
My Lovely (Fat
Wreck Chords)
Dudes,
Malcolm Tent here. How you doin'? Man, did you hear all that noise about Muggsy
McMurphy gettin' fired from the Wiglar? Man, that shit was weak, but hell, I
didn't say shit in his defense, I gotta admit. I feel awful but I was sure they
were gonna sack me, but I lucked out again. I think it's 'cause I'm in the can
so much nobody really knows I'm around.
At
any rate, time to earn my keep and review a couple of CDs for yah. First up
is a punk band that I think are British 'cause they got a bunch of English cuss
words in their songs, like on the song "Arsehole" which is English
slang for, you know, asshole and it's got other curse words in that song like
wanker, toss pot, toe rag, gob shite, fuck wit and others that I've been using
around the office and crackin' everybody up with. Like I'll say, "whose
the bleedin' toss pot who ate me last Honey Bun?". But yeah, I like this
CD and if they ain't British, that's even funnier—Malcolm Tent
STRUNG OUT
Twisted by
Design (Fat Wreck Chords)
Hey,
it's me Malcolm again with Round Two of my record reviews. This is a pop/punk/ska
band called Strung Out and boy are they strung out on pop/punk/ska, but they
shouldn't feel bad 'cause they are not alone. In fact, there seem to be literally
hundreds and hundreds of bands that sound like these guys so they are in good
company. And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes my working week—Malcolm Tent
SWERVEDRIVER
99th Dream (Zero Hour)
Looks
like a brand new label and brand new album by British Rockers, Swervedriver.
At times they reminded me of the Grifters, English-style, you know? Slow jams
that rock and build and subside and rock again. You know, I like it—P.C. Jones
SUPERNOVA
Rox (AmRep)
Supernova
are not the first band that's claimed to be from another planet, in this case
the planet Cynot, but I called up a friend of mine who works at the Adler Planetarium
here in Chicago and Cynot does not even exists. Yeah, it's not even a real planet.
Actually,
this CD is a lot of fun and I've heard they put on one monkey of a live show.
The song "Mommy" is brilliant and made me weep. They manage to sound
like the Dickies sometimes, sometimes like Cheap Trick, but sometimes the singer
sounds like Adam Sandler doing a bad impression of Johnny Rotten, super obnoxious,
but funny—Scat in the Hat
THIRD HARMONIC DISTORTION
Third Harmonic
Distortion (Morphius)
Other
reviewers have compared Third Harmonic Distortion to some really great bands
that I'm sure you've heard of. This reviewer isn't gonna go that route if for
no other reason that it's way to fuckin' easy and might even be considered cheating
or just lazy journalism, and although I will fight to the death, the sucker
that says I ain't lazy as the next slacker music reviewer, like I said I just
ain't going that route.
I will say that Third Harmonic Distortion have
definitely been listening to their fair share of indie rock in the last couple
of years and those influences abound on this record and can't be ignored. The
only problem with that is, I hate indie rock. You see my dilemma here—Joey Germ
THE THUMBS
Make America
Strong (Soda Jerk)
I
think I know where the Thumbs are most of the time. Actually, I used that very
same joke in a review of their last release. But hell, it was brilliant. I'm
just thankful for the Thumbs new record so could use that gem again. Diagnosis:
yet more punk rock. Prescription: bring back metal—P.C. Jones
TRIBE 8
Role Models
for Amerika (Alternative Tentacles)
Tribe
8 draws its sound mostly from a Southern California punk rock legacy. It's the
band's sexual politics that makes them controversial and of which they are no
doubt sick to death of dealing with and talking about, but hey, it's how we
define each other for good or for ill. So while you may say, "they're lesbians,
so what?" it gives them new subject matter to deal with in the traditional
framework of a three chord brick to the head. There may not be much about Role
Models for Amerika that you could call groundbreaking but it does have energy,
spirit, venom and plenty o' attitude. In other words, all the necessary ingredients
for a punk rock record—Jayne Wayne
VARIOUS
Punk...It's
All About the Orchis Factor (Suburban Home)
This
is a 26 song punk rock sampler which features 26 punk rock bands put out by
Suburban Home Records out there in Boulder, Colorado. Some of the bands you
may have heard of, possibly from reading about them in this magazine. The Nobodys,
Oblivion, Against All Authority, Homeless Wonders are all on labels that have
been brave enough to send their releases our way. Blink-182 has got a song on
here for all you MTV watchin' punks who need to be told what to buy. I can't
give you a breakdown of the better bands and the better songs on this CD 'cause
that would be way, way too much work and I have to go do something else right
now, but like any such sampler, you take the good with the bad and decide for
yourself if you want more of any of it—Joey Germ
VARIOUS
Various (OFF-White)
This
is actually a sweet little gem of a various artists four song EP. I think they
should get together and form a super group. Smitten contribute a quirky short
and sweet pop tune chock full of cultural references "Tor Johnson",
Caboose has a good old fashioned banjo workin' on "Funny Things" and
on the song "Path of Least Resistance" Paul Johnson croons and strums
away on his acoustic guitar like they're gonna come and drag his ass away at
any moment, which they might—Joey Germ
RW #10 (1998)
AFI
Shut Your Mouth and Open Your Eyes (Nitro)
If you think I'm
going to write a bad review of a band whose label has supported this publication
by advertising within its pages, then you've got another think coming buddy.
I don't care if AFI do suck, that
just ain't gonna happen. And don't think I'm saying AFI suck either, 'cause
I'm not sayin' that. I'm not sayin' that they don't suck either–awww, heck,
you know what I'm sayin'—Joey Germ
ANOTHER SOCIETY
Blood Wrong (PC Music)
Ahhh, press kits. Really
quite annoying most of the time, but what are you gonna do? Those trees got
to be chopped down for sumpthin'. So the press kit says that Another Society
is "chuck" rock, i.e. same old shit. Nice attempt at creating a new
musical style through a clever catchword though. Actually, back in the olden
days this is what we used to call metal. The press kit suggests picturing Sharon
Stone in a menage a trois with James
Hetfield and Page
Hamilton. Now besides creating a horrible, horrible mental picture in your
head, this basically is meant to say that this band sounds a while lot like
Metallica and Helmet. The Sharon Stone part I just don't get 'cause I've seen
Another Society's press photo and sexy is one thing these mugs ain't. Just keep
this in mind: critics don't kill bands, press kits do. Oh yeah and "by
early indications Blood Wrong's impact will reach even further than the
band's 1995 debut." Which leaves these questions; what indication, what
impact and on who? I feel sorry for bands that get signed—Muggsy McMurphy
BOUNCING BALLS
Bouncing Balls (Genuine Spurious)
I am touched by
the sincerity of the Bouncing
Balls, their commitment to rock and by the unabashed goofiness of their
press photo which was awarded with the Goofiest Band Photo Award by a panel
of Reglar Wiglar judges. The sound of balls bouncing would seem to be
guitar rockin' a little, guitar poppin' a little. For those individuals who
are silly enough to have lived in Chicago in the pre-Wicker Park era, singer/songster/guitarer, Don Hedecker was half of Algebra
Suicide (something I myself considered committing while I was suffering
through Algebra II in high school when grades failed to improve. Whose with
me?) And drummer Brendan Burke used to play in a band 'round here called God's
Acre, but you don't really care about that do you? That's all irrelevant
anyway, especially in the wake of the Bouncing Balls, ya'll—Muggsy McMurphy
BURN THE PRIEST/ZED
Split 7" (Goat Boy)
Heavy, heavy shit
from Richmond, VA and their very own Burn the Priesty:
slow, painful, burning soul kinda music. Heretics all of 'em, but if you don't
cry at the end of "Ballad of Kansas City" you're just not human and
you sure as hell tain't Christian. I'm guessing ZED is from Philadelphia which
is the home of the Goat Boy label and this is the label's first release. ZED
is a little more up-tempo and their song "What the Fuck?!" could almost
be considered uplifting. Uplifting considering that we all live in a world of
shit and misery. You understand—Muggsy McMurphy
CHRIST ON A CRUTCH
Shit Edge and Other Songs for the Young and Sentimental (New Red Archives)
Not just my all-time
favorite cursing
phrase (actually, I like to throw a 'motherfucking' in there to modify the
noun crutch, but that's must me.) Christ
on a Crutch–is a politically charged hardcore band with a sense of humor
as is evident from this collection of singles and compilation tracks. Christ
on a Crutch really don't seem to care what they throw on a record and hey, neither
do I, so I'll go on record sayin' I like this product. I've used it, and I like
it—Joey Germ
DAUGHTER PRODUCT
Fatigue (DP)
I got a Daughter
Product t-shirt in the mail the other day and it came with a free CD (it's got
music or something on it). It's a 100% cotton blend, all black. It says "daughter
product" on the front and has some arty B&W picture on the back. I
plan to sleep in it as it is a heavy tee and will undoubtedly keep me warmer
on a cold Chicago winter's night that the CD would or the computer disc that
came with it, which supposedly contains some sort of computer graphic. My only
suggestion as far as daughter product goes is that instead of the CD and computer
disc, next time just send sweatpants with the t-shirts. It's more practical.
Thank you though, for the shirt—Jayne Wayne
DEAD MOON
Hardwired in Ljumljana (eMpTy)
If you look up
rock and roll in the dictionary there's a picture of Dead
Moon. Well, no there isn't really, but there should be. Dead Moon frontman,
Fred Cole, has been making records since 1964 and has been at the heart of Northwest
Garage Rock ever since. Hard Wired is a collection of live recordings
from Europe and the Northwest. With his wife of twenty-seven years, Toody, on
bass, and drummer Andrew Loomis, Fred & Dead Moon give us twenty live, raw,
ass-kickin' rock tunes that are equal parts out of tune, out of breath and teetering
on the edge of chaos, but if you look up rock'n'roll in the dictionary,
that's the definition. Go ahead, do it, I dare yah—Joey Germ
THE DICK BRADISH BAND
Congradulations Ma'am, It's a Country Album cassette (Off-white)
By god, it is a
country record! Got banjos and geetar on it and woeful wailing and what not.
Made me feel like...feel like drinkin' whiskey. Mmmmmmmm, yep, I reckon it did—Muggsy McMurphy
DICKEY DIAMOND & THE SITUATION
Mr. Diamond, I Think We've Got a Possible Situation Here (Genie)
Dickey Diamond
has long been this reviewers fav lounge singer. There are imitators out there
for sure, but none have ever truly matched his unique style. This is a later
period reissue of the first disc Dickey cut with his then new band, The Situation.
For all you bored hipsters out there who are "over" rock music, you
got to get with Dickey Diamond if you even want to mention lounge
music at your next cocktail party. Dickey is the original lady killin',
lounge fillin', top billin', martini swillin' cad about town. He's smooth, he's
debonair, he's got savoir faire and he lords it over the imitators. So do yourself
a favor and step to the prototype: Dickey Diamond—P.C. Jones
ELECTRIC SUMMER
Shock EP (Soda Jerk)
Ah, the electric
summers of my youth... Supposedly, and the only source for my information is
the press release for this CD, Electric Summer captures the raw intensity and
emotion of early LA hardcore groups like Black
Flag, Circle Jerks and the Germs. The irony
here is that they (allegedly) have never ever heard of these bands before because
they're from Japan and are somehow oblivious to American Punk Rock. So we are
to believe that this is a band that evolved separately from bands such as Black
Flag, but still arrived at the same place fifteen years later. We can conclude
form this that late 70s America equals late 90s Japan. Now of course this is
silly but what matters here students is whether or not the music has any artistic
merit in the punk rock genre. Well, it does rock, the absurd lyrics are humorous
as well as interesting in their cultural translation, and this record was recorded
by Descendent and old Black Flagger, Bill Stevenson, but don't believe the hype that these
guys are a present day incarnation of the LA punk bands of yore, 'cause it ain't
necessarily so—Joey Germ
Electric Summer/Black Flag Lyric Comparison:
ELECTRIC SUMMER "Dizzy Chocolate"
I want to eat it/I am punk rock gentleman
I want to eat it/I am punk rock generation
Dizzy chocolate, you feel dizzy, don't you?
BLACK FLAG "I Was So Wasted"
I was so wasted
I was a hippy/I was a burnout
I was a dropout/I was outa my head
EVERCLEAR
So Much for the Afterglow (Capitol)
Stop
it, you're making the 90s suck! Jesus! Two more years until the end of the world,
let's just get through this, all right?—Joey Germ
FAKIR
Draw (no label)
The Fabulous Fakir
Boys as I like to call 'em and have done so publicly, I might add. This here
is their self-released debut CD showcasing a little bit of what they're more
than capable of: interesting instrumental interplay, whimsical, lyrical stylings
and a propensity for rock—Joey Germ
FREEDOM FIGHTERS
My Scientist Friends (AmRep)
Having always been
one who has consistently fought for freedom, I feel that I can really identify
with the Freedom Fighters. There's just too many people out there who would
seek to take our freedoms and liberties away form us. "Get a job!"
the Oppressors cry. "Get a haircut! Take a bath once in awhile! Are you
burning incense up there? Find someplace to live, you can't stay here rent-free
forever!" they scream at us. These are all commands that the Oppressors
hurl at us day in and day out. We must be strong and resist. Ignore the Oppressors
and continue to live a free and righteous existence in peace and harmony with
nature and natures gifts to us. Amen.
The Freedom Fighters simply make rock music that provides sort of a soundtrack
to accompany my own quest for freedom—Malcolm Tent
GODSHEADSILO
Share the Fantasy (Sub Pop)
godHeadsilo is
Mike on bass and Dan on drums and that's it. These guys are like Ween's cousins
from South Dakota who wanted to form a band but couldn't find any other musicians
in Fargo, ND who didn't have their heads up their asses so they just stuck with
their loud, fucked up two piece and set out to conquer the world anyway. Now
in Olympia and on Sub Pop, they just might succeed especially if they keep the Phil Collins covers comin'—P.C. Jones
GREG GINN AFFILIATED
MATERIALS:
Greg Ginn; prolific musical maverick or bored
middle-aged guitar noodler with some extra spending money to release a CD, seemingly,
every other week?
EL BAD
Trick or Treat (SST)
Two quick little
plays on the band name and album title here and then we'll get on with it: 1)
El Bad is right and 2) unfortunately we get the trick, not the treat here with
this collection of passionless, cranked out, yet stagnant punk rock songs.
BIAS
Modern Citizen (SST)
Apparently Greg
Ginn helped invent Electronica back in the early 70s right before he helped
invent hardcore. Greg states his purpose with this genre to "pound and
grind some sense into the head of the public" in regards, of course, to
the awful drivel that the majority of us ignorant sheep listen to. True enough,
but this ain't drivin' me to do nothing but reaffirm my own stance on techno:
I don't like it. Baaaaaad music.
SCREW RADIO
Best of Screw Radio (SST)
At 101 tracks,
I don't think that it's possible for this to be the Best of Screw Radio,
you know what I'm sayin'? All of Screw Radio maybe a more accurate title
than Best of Screw Radio. Anyway, I've read that Screw Radio is inspired
by the satire of Harry Shearer, Mort
Sahl, George Carlin and Don
Imus (and Negativland admit it, damn it!) only not very funny.
HOR
A Faster, More Aggressive Hor (SST)
Hor is techno music
that its creators would like to make sure you understand is not trendy techno,
nor is it, "sell-out" techno, it is "hardcore" techno i.e.
the real genuine article. Remember that, 'cause when you listen to the CD you're
apt to forget.
You think I feel bad about ripping apart a
punk rock pioneer like Greg Ginn and most of his musical output of the last
year? Well I do, damn it! But it's hardly my fault. If you'll excuse me, I think
I need to be along for awhile—Joey Germ
GRIFTERS
Full Blown Possession (Sub Pop)
Another
Grifters record. Don't stop. Keep 'em comin' through the next millennium. Some
things remain the same with Grifter's records, the near desperate feel of it,
the angst-riddn feedback, the self-loathing, self-loving dependency, the stark
quality, all what you would expect more or less from this band. Although a questionable
foray into the XRTish (for lack of a better ish) ode/love ballad "Sweetest
Thing", jarred this listener after the momentum built up with the first
four songs and left him unable to move beyond it for several weeks, it was well
worth his while to eventually move on—P.C. Jones
DANIELLE HOWLE & THE TANTRUMS
Do a Two Sable (Daemon)
This leans a little
too far toward the Adult Contemporary sect (they thank Hootie
and the Blowfish in the liner notes) and the only thing that's wrong with
that is that it's really not my thing... at all, but if there's any room left
in the female singer/songwriter category at your local music mart, I'm sure
Danielle could hold down the slot just as well as any of 'em and I think Meredith
Brook's time should be up right... about.... now!—P.C. Jones
KLEENEX GIRL WONDER
The Bostonians b/w The Sensuous Nurse
7" (MOC)
Former high school
sensation, Kleenex Girl Wonder, have graduated into a sophisticated pop band
as is evident on this 7" single from MOC, and because they told me so.
The first song is sure to be a hit 'cause they said so and the B-side is actually
a commercial for their upcoming album which they foresee making a big impact
on the music world. Interesting. We'll just have to wait and see, I suppose—Jayne Wayne
JACK KILLED JILL
In Stereo (New Red Archives)
Jack allegedly killed Jill. There is no concrete physical proof to support the accusations
that Jack killed Jill. The evidence in this case is circumstantial at best,
and until formal charges are brought against Jack, I think a statement like
"Jack killed Jill" is reckless and irresponsible and makes a mockery
of our entire legal system Sorry, this record review section has been accused
of being both corny and goofy and I didn't want to disappoint anyone. Anyway,
in regards to this CD, here again we have a snotty, fast action, female fronted,
California punk rock assault unit rippin', shreddin', tearin' it up. Am I done
yet?—Joey "Laz-E Boy" Germ
LIVING SACRIFICE
Reborn (Solid State/Tooth & Nail)
From the land of
Little Rock, Arkansas, where they breed Razorbacks, hard rock bands and slick
political machines with insatiable sexual appetites, it's Living Sacrifice who
may or may not be a combination of all three of these thing but they're definitely
one or more. Well, that being said, back to the bong,
I guess—Malcolm Tent
LOLLIPOP
Sucked In, Blown Out (AmRep)
It's fast. It's
unrelenting. It's nonstop, crude and rude. It's unforgiving. It's unforgivable.
It's like one giant screeching mess of scuzzy, white trash garage punk rock.
Lollipop blows–blows out the fuckin' rock that is—Joey Germ
THE LOUDMOUTHS
Gone Drinkin' 7" (New Red Archives)
With a tip of that
hat to Flipper's Gone
Fishin' (complete with cut-out tour van on the cover) the comparison to
those latter day Franciscans ends there. Loudmouths are a snotty, fast action,
female fronted, California punk rock assault unit more akin to the Ramones three chord explorations than the stark minimalism of Flipper.
(I finally got to use "stark minimalism" in a record review—Joey Germ
MAD TRUCKERS GONE MAD
Mad Truckers Gone Mad (Crustacean)
Now I gotta be
honest with ya'll, I think these Truckers are neither angry nor are they insane
and I really question whether or not they are employed as truck drivers, independent
or otherwise. MTGM do have songs about trucks, however. They also got songs
about trains and hay rides and horses and these songs come in a variety of styles,
mostly rockabilly, with a touch of ska pokin' through here and there, a little
country and cowboy music as well. MTGM could get yah amblin' up to the bar for
a shot or two of whiskey if you got 'em on a good night, I reckon. It don't
take much to get me amblin' up to the bar for whiskey, but that's hardly the
point—Joey Germ
MOG STUNT TEAM 5
King of the Retards (AmRep)
Opening up their
CD with a cover of Cheap Trick's "Hello There" Mog Stunt Team seek
to deliver on their promise to be the "Last Superheros of Rock" in
the vein of Kiss, Johnny
Cash and the aforementioned rock group. But do we really need another Kiss or Cheap Trick in '98
when we still have Kiss and Cheaptrick in '98? The Team does deliver on their
promise to rock (reminding this reviewer of Rocket
from the Crypt) and they are committed to fighting Alien
Invaders and John Tesh (whom the Tea believes is a tool of the aliens whereas
I think John Tesh is a tool of the Man and
this is the fundamental difference in our core beliefs and the cause of an irreparable
schism among our warring factions). They wear helmets like a real stunt team.
They're from Michigan—Jayne Wayne
THE MULTIPLE CAT
Multi-Kat Mixy Mix (Zero Hour)
Too many kitties—Jayne Wayne
MOTARDS
Saturday Night Special Ed. (Empty)
These guys ain't
nuthin but a bunch of motards from Texas but by Christ do they throw down a
rock jam! Seriously though, punk bands are a dime a dozen. They all have similar
song structures, similar themes and hey, it's all just rock and roll, right?
But there are some bands that sound like outright rip off artists and others
that sound genuinely fucked up and desperate and they never for a minute take
themselves too seriously and that's why I would crawl naked through a pit filled
with broken glass, vomit, and the entire offensive line of the New
England Patriots at an Everclear/Offspring double bill to see the Motards
tear down a shack across the street. But hey, punk rock is my middle name. Actually,
it's Titanium but you know what I'm sayin'—Joseph Titanium Germ
NASHVILLE PUSSY
Let Them Eat Pussy (AmRep)
It's
fast. It's unrelenting. It's nonstop, crude and rude. It's unforgiving. It's
unforgivable. It's like one giant screeching mess of Southern fried scuzzy,
white trash garage punk rock—Joey Germ
THE NOTWIST
12 (Zero Hour)
OK, I've heard
of Bavarian pretzels and Bavarian
beer and the beautiful mountains and lush forests of Bavaria,
but a Bavarian rock band? I have never heard of such a thing... that is, until
now. Hailing from Bavaria,
the Notwist, ladies and gentleman. Their press kit is packed with clips from
such reputable publications as Rolling Stone, The New York Times, Guitar Player Magazine and Entertainment Weekly. What could they
possibly gain by being mentioned in this pathetic little rag? Nuthin'. These
guys have been credited and highly praised for dismantling conventional song
structures and putting them back together in innovative and groundbreaking new
forms but if you ask this ignorant, pseudo-music critic, it's still just rock
music and there ain't nuthin' new under the sun no matter what side of the globe
you're sittin' on—Muggsy McMurphy
RESERVOIR
American Tune b/w Back in NYC 7"
(Zero Hour)
Reservoir is a
side project of Varnaline's Jud Ehrbar (see Varnaline review below [or not,
it's really not relevant at this point]). I don't think Reservoir is so much
a band as it is a guy, a drum machine, some keyboards and some bad choices.
The aside is a cover of Paul Simon's "American Tune" and the B-side is a cover of Genesis'
"Back in NYC." The review: thoroughly underwhelming! Totally unnecessary!
A sure-fire miss!—P.C. Jones
ROADSIDE MONUMENT
Eight Hours Away from Being a Man (Tooth & Nail)
Seems like the
original lineup of this band quit and has been replaced, save for Douglass Lorig
who I would guess is the creative force driving Roadside Monument, and while
there is something appealing about this record; the sparse guitar, bass, drum
interplay, the building tension that gives way to spent melodies and litttle
whatnots, all of which I'm sure add up to a sonic drifting ebb, thanks to producer
Bob Weston. Oh boy, I'm tired and it has absolutely nothing to do with this
record, I'm just no good with this being awake and coherent thing. So anyway,
I hope this all made sense—Muggsy McMurphy
SHALLOW
High Flyin' Kids Stuff (Zero Hour)
Cute little baby
girl, ga-ga, goo-goo, cute vocals. Like a cross between Juliana Hatfield and
the Sundays, only cuter and more little baby girlish and just a squirt more
syrup and a dollop more sugar. Pretty Pop songs about love, boys, and video
games, but I'm just into the video games,
know what I'm sayin'?—Muggsy McMurphy
SICKO
You're Not the Boss of Me (empty)
I may not be the
boss of you boys, but I am indeed the one appraising your work as musicians
and songwriters and I regret to inform you that your position as a Pop Punk
Band in the Pop Punk Music Genre has been terminated, effective immediately.
But seriously, there are a lot of band out there doing the pop punk thing but
nobody, and I mean nobody does it as much as Sicko. Wooo!—Joey Germ
SNAP-HER
Queen Bitch of Rock 'N' Roll (New
Red Archives)
Wow, she ain't
kiddin' callin' herself the Queen Bitch of Rock'n'roll either. The inside back
cover of the CD pictures, perhaps the Queen herself, getting ready to serve
someone up a golden cocktail.
Golden Cocktail
"You make me want to puke
You really make me sick
I think I'm gonna stomp on your tiny little prick
I've got a golden shower waiting just for you"
For me?
I Wanna Beavis You
"I wanna Beavis you/Beavis you tonight
You're gonna Butthead me and I think that'll be all right"
—Joey Germ
TEAM SATAN
Junior Wing EP (RoosterCow)
I told them (the
editors), I've renounced Satan. I'm done with him and his evil ways, but they
said, "Come on Mal, you know you still love the Devil Rock." That's
not true. I only bang my head for Jesus now. I'm serious. Team
Satan? Who need it?—St. Malcolm
T.S.O.L.
T.S.O.L. (Nitro)
This reissue brings
back memories for the old Germster; skate boards, drinkin' beer in the park,
terrorizing elderly people, gettin' dissed by the ladies. Things are different
now. Yeah, I don't skate anymore. Ha! But anyway, what with all these upstart
punk bands out there rippin' off the old school (hey at least these kids are
doin' their homework, right?) it's no wonder we've seen a backlash of the back
catalog. Picture this: it's the 80s there's a senile old Hollywood
hack in in the White house and head of a nuclear superpower, and a song
like "World War III" and "Abolish Government/Silent Majority"
weren't novelty songs they we're like... reality, man! All I'm sayin' is T.S.O.L.
or Offspring? That's all I'm sayin'. There will be no good punk rock under Clinton,
ya'll. The buttons he's into pushin' won't be getting anyone blown but himself—Joey Germ
VARIOUS
(You're Only As Good as) The Last Great Thing You Did (Lookout!)
Allright, goddamn
it, you know I can't stand pop punk and who puts out more punk pop records than
Lookout!? Anyone? Huh? That's what I thought. Nobody that's who, but I tried
to be fair in my assessment of this CD sampler. There are some redeeming qualities.
"I've got a hang-up/I can't hang up then I talk to you" (Parasites)
ain't one of 'em and that kind of clever/cute crap is what I have the lowest
tolerance for (and when you get a lyric like that stuck in you head, let me
tell you somethin', you hate everything and everybody) and that goes for the
ska pop of Squirtgun and their tune, "My Jeanette". Auntie Christ,
(young) Pioneers, Blackfork and Blatz serve up the punk rock with a little more
venom. I liked the Smugglers too! Pinhead Gunpowder's singer is such a dead
fuckin' ringer for Billy Joe Green Day that I'm thinkin' that it might be. Pansy
Division gets political despite maybe their intentions on "Political Asshole."
Representative of the Lookout! as a sampler should be. Some good, some I could
live without, but like I said, if you're not the Pop Punk thing, you'll be luvin'
this stuff—Joey Germ
VARNALINE
A Shot and a Beer (Zero Hour)
I'd rather have
the shot and a beer to be quite honest with you, but hey, I'm a drunk so that
logic follows. Anyway, Varnaline is usually a collaboration of three musicians
but apparently two thirds of the group were tied up with other projects (see
Reservoir review above for an example of such a project). That left founding
member Anders Parker alone, cooped up in a small house in Rosedale, NY where
he "churned out six broken hearted ballads" that's from the Varnaline
bio). This CD didn't make me so much sad as it bored me. American Music Club
does this better—Jayne Wayne
VELOUR 100
Of Color Bright (Tooth
& Nail)
I had to get my
Music Critic Guide Book out to help me write this review. See if this helps
ya'll out any; Of Color Bright is a euphonious collage of pneumatic lucidity
that creates an ethereal quality that both engages and repels the listener simultaneously.
Here's me talkin': I kind of like this one although if there was a tempo change
every once in awhile, I wouldn't complain—P.C. Jones
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