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Reglar Wiglar


Restaurant Review

by Julio Childs

We spend a lot of time around Wiglar Headquarters thinking... thinking and asking questions about what it would take to make the Wiglar a more "legitimate" publication. What would it take to turn this rag into a more valued part of the community while at the same time helping the local economy? What could we possibly do to give the Reglar Wiglar a little more class?

And then it hits us: restaurant reviews! What if we gave a couple of our best writers five bucks and sent them out to review a few of the local eateries? Yeah, we spend a lot of time around here thinking... thinking and asking questions...

Some workdays, I can only get away for a two hour lunch, so I often have to make impulsive lunch choices — I go with my gut. That's how I found out about this place called Hooters. The outside of Hooters is pretty nondescript. It kind of looks like some backwoods roadhouse that got sucked up by a funnel cloud and was plopped down right smack dab in the middle of the city--a place I would normally avoid, but when I saw the neon beer signs and the humorous looking owl on the sign out front, I chuckled to myself. I didn't know who this Hooter character was, but I wanted to check out his restaurant.






I ordered the buffalo chicken sandwich which is basically a breaded chicken breast done up like a buffalo wing. It had the potential to be quite tasty, however, it was not.

The sandwich was served with a side of mayonnaise instead of the blue cheese dressing one normally associates with the spicy buffalo wing. The accompanying curly fries were merely fries that were cut into a curly shape and not of the spicy variety that you would normally associate with a curly fry from Arby's, for example.

If someone is going out of their way to make a fry curly, why not add some pizzazz? The cut of the fry doesn't really affect the taste in most cases. I don't even think these Hooter fries were even fried, more like blanched. They were pretty flaccid. But bland food is why they invented condiments I suppose.

A little ketchup and I was ready to deal on those limp spuds, but for some reason I had trouble concentrating on the task at hand and managed to squirt quite a bit of ketchup on my pants which required a quick trip to the restroom to dab cold water on my khaki shorts. Not a good look.

A Hooter's Fine Dining Restaurant
"This place looks nice, honey."

Hooters, in spite of its charms, has the most uncomfortable table and chair configuration I have ever sat in. The stools are way too high forcing you to have to look down at your waitress, and with the tight, low-cut t-shirts these ladies wear, it's doubly an uncomfortable position to be in. And there are no backs on the chairs. It's almost as if they didn't want me to get comfortable and spend an entire afternoon in their restaurant drinking pitcher after pitcher of beer.


Reasonably priced, but for some reason I left my server and busser two gigantic tips.

Check, please!

Originally published in Reglar Wiglar #17, 2002

RW #17

More restaurant reviews:

Taco Bell/KFC
White Castle

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